Mean People Suck

Did you ever come across someone who made you embarrassed to be human? I found myself embarrassed by someone’s behavior tonight while I was eating dinner at a local pizza restaurant.

Service is always spotty at this place, as they often don’t put enough help on to handle the crowd. There is one young (30s?) woman there who is very good. She is also very attractive, but that’s beside the point. The tables are stuffed into a rectangular space and, as it gets more crowded, it gets hard for the wait staff to move around. There were only two waitresses on tonight, the nice one and an older woman who was wearing sunglasses because something was wrong with her eyes, which strangely, seemed to make her work more slowly, too.

It wasn’t really crowded when I first sat down. There was a woman by herself at the table next to mine who had obviously just sat down herself. Oddly, she was also wearing sunglasses. She was also singularly unattractive. The young waitress went to the woman first and asked her, “Are you dining alone?” The woman repeated it in a very loud voice. “Am I dining alone? Yes, I’m dining alone.” You know that scene in Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey’s character makes what he calls “the worst sound in the world?” The sound of this woman’s voice was worse. Anyone who heard her would immediately peg her as a typical New Yorker. Her voice flowed (dripped is too dainty a word for this behemoth) with sarcasm as she repeated it again. The waitress then tried to take her order. After showing her displeasure with everything on the menu, the woman made an order but at first balked at the fact that she would have to pay extra for a coke especially because they only serve them in cans with no free refills. She then wanted water but wanted an extra glass with the ice in it. The waitress then left. The one with the sunglasses then came to tell me she’d be back for me soon.

When the waitress came back with her drink and salad, the croaker had taken out her cell phone and was talking to someone loudly. “Hey. What are you doing? Yes, I’m here ‘dining all alone’ as this waitress announced to the whole restaurant. Yes, she had to tell the whole restaurant [maybe that was me—but she didn’t ask in a loud voice. I only heard because my table was right next to hers].” The young woman replied, “M’am, I was just asking so I would know to take the other plates away from your table.” In fact, they ask everyone who comes in whether they are it in their party, whether there is one person or four. It’s restaurant policy. People often come in while their mate is parking the car or people in this restaurant in particular meet their friends there. Still, Tug Boat Annie went on. “Yes, she told the whole restaurant. I’m the one who has the diamonds on. I’m not waitressing.” At that point, the girl left her alone. The last word I heard Godzilla bellow was, “Bitch.” I figure she was just reminding her caller who she was.

I felt embarrassed at that. It’s the kind of behavior that prompted John Litgow’s character in Terms of Endearment to remark, “You must be from New York.” What a miserable bitch. When a family sat down on the other side of her a few minutes later, she got up and went to another table in another corner. She left her drinks, salad, and cell phone on the table. When the young waitress finally saw that, she told her she would have to bring her things to that table if she wanted to sit there and reminded her that her cell phone was there. At that point, Gammera sauntered to the other table, picked up her cell phone, and oozed out of the restaurant.

That miserable excuse for a human being diminished us all tonight. I’m sure she left feeling justified in her actions and will recount how she showed that waitress what her place was. I know what that woman’s place is though it would probably befoul my septic tank to stuff her in there.